Tag Archives: odyssey

YMWW #14: Fortitude

Friday, January 15, 2010

(Originally posted on Facebook)

**I know this is a quick follow-up to entry #13, but when inspiration hits, you gotta go with it. . .

Though most of my waking life is spent relishing in my odyssey to Hawai’i, I’ll admit there have been times when doubt has clouded the brilliance of my decision. Today was one of those times.

This morning, I had donned one of my new Cal shirts (grey, Walking Bear logo with “UC Berkeley”) and by the time I got to work, was in full Cal Spirit mode. I was singing “Fight for California” to myself when I noticed an ugly shade of red planted in front of the Whole Foods entrance. A young woman was sitting on a bench wearing a red Stanford stanfurd sweatshirt. In front of my store!

I approached her from her left and sat on her right, turning towards her so that the front of my beautiful Berkeley shirt was inches away from her stupid Cardinal face. Point, Bears! However, my sinfully proud internal smile was suddenly humbled by a horrid realization: here sat a stanfurd alumna, waiting for Whole Foods to open because she had the money to shop there. Next to her sat me, a Berkeley alumnus waiting for it to open because that’s where I earn my minimum wage pay. She can’t see that I work there! Imagine the pretentious laughs her anecdote about me would bring at her snooty, alumni wine parties!

The doors opened and I quickly darted into the entrance she didn’t use. Maybe she didn’t see me cover my alma mater’s logo with my pseudo-Asian cook uniform. Maybe she wouldn’t recognize me with a wedge cap on my head. Maybe she didn’t even notice my shirt outside, what with her eyes busy looking down her nose.

My pride swallowed, I started work. Switch on oven fan, check. Heat up deep fryer, check. Turn on grill, check.

Somewhere between making twelve pounds of rice and realizing that I shouldn’t have heated up the deep fryer because I was supposed to change the oil today, I came to terms with this morning’s incident. I’m a cook in a grocery store, so what? I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do! Okay, I kind of hate my job, but still, I made an aimless move to another state, I pay for rent and food with my own money, and I’m exploring what life has to offer outside of the small section of California I called home for twenty-two years. How can I not be happy with myself? How can I not be proud? I went about the rest of my working day happily—and loudly—singing Cal songs (and when I had exhausted those, I started belting out musical numbers fromNewsies).

I’ll get another job shortly (I’ll definitely update you on that), and maybe I’ll move to another state some time down the line. Maybe I’ll make millions by doing what I love. Maybe not. Who knows? All that matters is that I am happy with the decision I made and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. No regrets.

I brought a smile to my own face by making up a story about the stanfurd alum I encountered this morning: She probably traveled down to Shallow Alto to major in pre-med, just like her strict Asians parents wanted. Unable to find success in a passionless career, she quit the game and married an older man for the security (she was, in fact, with an old, grey-haired gentleman). Following his dream for retirement, this geezer moved himself and his little Asian trophy wife to O’ahu. She now works at Lili’uokalani Elementary as the school nurse, coming home to fix her geriatric beau an organic, free-trade dinner.

Go Bears.

PS: If you didn’t click on the “odyssey” link at the beginning of this entry, do so now. It is a very intriguing, and related, article from the New York Times. Thank you to Ate Melanie for showing me this.

While Allison Stokke is not a Roxy model, it is more than appropriate to include her here, decked out in Cal gear.

I know what you’re think and you’re right, it’s hard to believe it took fourteen entries to finally see her on this blog!

GO BEARS!

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YMWW #1: Why I Went

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

(Originally posted on Facebook)

Touchdown at Honolulu International Airport: Wednesday, 9/16, 11:40 AM. Local time.

You know what else happened at 11:40 AM? This all finally became real. Despite buying the tickets, packing my bags, and having good-bye dinners, my move to Hawai’i didn’t really sink in until that tightly-packed airplane hit the runway. “Moving to Hawai’i” had become an oft-repeated phrase, nothing more than an idea. When I finally felt the tropical air and saw the bright blue water, it had become tangible. I had arrived. . . and I was finally excited.

I was excited, and not for the prospect of beaches and Roxy models, but for the self-congratulatory thought that I had followed through with the life outlook I had been claiming to live by: don’t worry about securing the future, just live in and enjoy the present. By buying a one-way ticket and leaving without securing a job or a permanent residence, I’m really going against Society’s Set Plan for Success, which would be something along the lines of:

  1. succeed in school to get into a good college
  2. succeed in college to get a good career
  3. succeed in a career to make money
  4. use that money to enjoy life
But a life long enough for that plan is never guaranteed, so in the wise words of Ted Mosby via Barney Stinson: “Don’t postpone happiness.”

Admittedly, I do have a great security blanket in the form of family. I know that no matter how miserably I fail at finding a place to live and a means to pay for it, I will never be a homeless beach bum (unless that turns out to be my next big calling). But I don’t want to rely on them; I don’t want to crash forever and I’m sure they feel the same way.

So, as I write this, I’m on a mission, not a vacation. I’m enjoying the aimless manner in which I moved to Hawai’i, not necessarily Hawai’i itself. The beaches and Roxy models can wait (but not for long).

Hold tight, baby. I’m coming.

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